The Power of the Penis

Woody Allen once referred to his brain as his second favorite organ. The penis is every man’s favorite organ. Why shouldn’t it be? It’s their defining organ. No penis, no man.

Men like their penis best when it’s hard. Not only men. Nature doesn’t take any chances when it comes to getting the penis into an erect position and has therefore 7 different methods to accomplish the task.

1. The scent of the female.
This is the most primitive, and most effective, method. When a woman sends forth her I’m-ready scent, the penis snaps to attention. Many men have unwillingly experienced this on the dance floor.

2. Touch
The penis loves the feel of skin; grab it, stroke it, pet it, squeeze it, caress it, kiss it or lick it. It is so sensitive to touch that it will get hard anticipating being touched.

3. Sperm production
Sperm production builds up in the testicles. The younger the male, the greater the intensity of the production. The accumulation causes pressure. It gets crowded in there and the little guys want out. This will stimulate an erection.

4. Visual stimulus
The sight of a fertile (ripe, willing, ”sexy”) female will send signals to the penis to get ready. This biological function has been twisted by cultural fetishes. Experiments have shown that curved lines similar to the curve of a young woman’s breasts are judged most positive by men. But, when the curves become round, as those similar to milk-full breasts, they lose their attraction. In other words we are biologically attracted to maidens, but not nursing mothers. A natural man, one not distorted with cultural conditioning, would be turned off by these surgically enhanced balloon babes. Many men are.

5. Fantasy
This is a large area and differs in different personalities. We enter the realm of psychology and the subconscious desires of individuals. Pornography feeds off these desires and supplies a smorgasbord of situations where women are dominated and abused.

6. Dreams
The dream center of the brain lives alongside the erection center. Here is the source of the morning erection and many other nightly erections that the male is unaware of. Psychologists have measured the rigidity of the ”dream” erection with a sensor-laced mesh attached to the penis of
volunteers. The psychologists claim that the mental state of a male can be determined by the hardness of the erection. Harder = happier.

7. Love
Men have testified to getting an erection upon receiving a phone call or an email from a loved one. Not because of any erotic content or expressed desire, merely the swell of love causing a swell between the legs.

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Many of these conditions can be at work at the same time causing the penis to get so hard that it can, in the words of Kurt Vonnegut, crack coconuts.

“References to the penis deal exceptionally with its normal state
and normally with its exceptional state.”
Dartwill Aquila

(Tomorrow: Exclusively Old-fashioned)