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November 19, 2014 / Fantelius

God’s Wife Solves his Problem

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A little while ago, some 13 or 14 thousand years, when all humans lived in tribes and clans hunting, fishing and gathering fruits, nuts, roots, berries, mushrooms and other edibles, God was having a crisis.
”What have I done? What have I done?” he moaned again and again.
His wife didn’t say anything and he tried not to look at her. He knew he would see that what-did-I-tell-you expression that she had down to perfection. The problem couldn’t be avoided indefinitely.
”OK, OK, I fucked up,” he confessed. ”What are we going to do about it?”
”We?” she asked triumphantly.
”Please don’t be that way. I admit I made a mistake. Are you going to help me out or aren’t you?”
”Well what did you expect?” she asked. ”What were you thinking when you gave them all that power?”
”I thought they’d use it to beautify the world.”
”I don’t know about you sometimes. One minute you’re wiser than anyone and then in the next minute you’re as naive as a 10-year-old.”
”It’s not wrong to experiment, to try something new,” he said defensively.
His genuine regret melted his wife’s heart. She embraced him and kissed his sorrowful eyes.
”No,” she said, ”It’s never wrong to try. You’re such a dreamer. I’m sorry, it’s not you that I’m angry at, it’s them. They are so arrogant. And they have no respect for life. They don’t even appreciate the gift of life they possess.”
”I know, I know,” he said. ”They destroy everything. I can’t even keep track of all the species they’ve destroyed in the past 100 000 years, not to mention the other hominids. And they just keep multiplying and getting stronger. They’re already everywhere. I can’t flood the whole earth to get rid of them and I can’t set it on fire. How am I going to get rid of these pests?”
”No, problem,” said his wife, ”give them property, money and religion. In 20 000 years, at the most, they’ll have destroyed themselves.”
”But they’ll destroy everything else as well.”
”No not everything. They’ll do a lot of damage, but like with a forest fire, life and the earth will survive and be better than ever afterwards. The earth will be greener, the oceans richer and many exciting species will develop.”
”You think?” he asked.
She gave him her haven’t-you-learned-to-trust-my-judgement-by-now look.

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“DNA is the book of life.
Any form of life can read it,
whether a blade of grass
or an illiterate lover.”
Dartwill Aquila

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