2 Unheavenly News Items

“The Committee of Consequence,
with members from NATO, the UN and The Council of Churches
has suggested a slight change to the first commandment.
It shall hereafter read:
Thou Shall Not Kill Us!”

“Due to lack of newcomers, mass resignations and desertions
heaven has declared soulruptcy.
The pearly gates* will be dismantled the day after Christmas.
Remaining angels can contact the Bureau of Lost Souls.
God is not available for comments.

 
*(The pearls turned out to be false and not even suitable for swine.
They were made from the remains of black flags
baked in snake-palm oil and coated with hypocrisy.)”

Dartwill Aquila Nonassociated Press

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